I’m guessing you’ve probably read the title of this post and though, “huh??? is she having a meltdown?” erm… no, no I’m not, but what I have had, over the past few weeks / months / years, is clarity and today I want to share why in the hope it may help some of you reach your clarity too!
So, the story starts a few weeks ago (though probably before that – this is really the last straw moment) I was at a business function and I had the opportunity to meet another business person who I had admired for some time. As I chatted to this person the realisation hit me that I actually didn’t like them and I certainly didn’t admire them any more, the way they spoke to me made me feel smaller and smaller and smaller until on the way home I actually felt so rotten I could cry.
Once I’d got past feeling upset, I started to get angry, how dare they speak to me like that and make me feel that way! B pointed out to me that maybe this person felt threatened, insecure, so tried to make me feel that way in return – you’ll often find the people that try to hurt you or make you feel small are actually feeling insecure themselves and use this as a way to make themselves feel better – it doesn’t work.
It was really, right at that moment, that I realised, I couldn’t care less. I didn’t care if that person liked me or not, if they thought I had done a good job or not, if they understood what I had achieved or not, it didn’t matter, because I was happy with all of that, if they don’t get it, thats their loss. My achievements speak for themselves. I’m happy.
At the beginning of my business, though I didn’t realise it at the time, I was actually in a very strong place, because I had nothing, therefore I had nothing to lose – it’s a powerful thing. A year or so in, I lost my power, I started to want people to like me instead of focusing on my business goals – I thought I could never get my product range started without a manufacturer / distributor backing me (I did!) or that if a certain company didn’t like me I was doomed to fail (not the case!) I found myself backing down in meetings, accepting things I didn’t really want to happen, because I wanted the approval of other people. I wanted to make the haters like me, make people stop underestimating me and take me seriously – I wish I could go back and give myself a good shake quite honestly! Instead of focusing on that, I should have been focusing on my goals and where my business was headed.
So, almost four years on, the last year or two with absolutely the right focus on what I want to achieve and with sheer hard work and determination, my business has grown amazingly beyond what I dreamed! I get to work with those people who actually looked at what I could do and what I had achieved and what I was capable of doing, those people who believed in me, listened to me, took me seriously (they’re awesome!) my business is still growing month on month and all I’ll say for the future is watch this space!!
I still get people underestimate me – but now I use that to motivate me and the right ones believe in me, the right ones see what Ive achieved and know if I say I’m going to do something, it’s best to get prepared because that’s exactly what’s going to happen! I don’t need the approval of anyone else except my team, my customers / readers / viewers and my clients and they are all 100% behind me (that includes you by the way, you rock!) and the best thing is, since I decided I couldn’t care less, since I let go of all of that stuff, better doors have opened, more of the right people have come my way, more of the good stuff thats right for me is happening and it feels wonderful, because it’s not forced, I’m not fighting for it (I’m working damn hard for it, but not fighting, theres a difference!)
So, my lesson from this, which I hope you’ll take away, is never let anyone else make you feel small, be proud of what you’ve achieved ALWAYS – some people go faster, some people go slower, some people are aiming for different things, thats OK. Just because someone has a bigger business / car / house etc… than you doesn’t mean they are more successful – if you’re doing exactly what you want, when you want with you who you want and ticking off the things on your goal list, you’re just as successful, maybe even more so! Success is different for everyone. If you work hard and keep going in the direction of your dreams then great things can happen and if anyone underestimates you, don’t let them make you feel small, smile to yourself, think ‘I couldn’t care less!‘ and move forward with grace and dignity and show them how it’s done!
Thank you for dropping by today
p.s please feel free to download the quote above to use as your screensaver / wallpaper etc… we all need some daily motivation!
Reblogged this on ..:: El-Jay ::.. and commented:
Very well written blog post and something that I am sure most of us can relate too 🙂